


I only told the moon

by ElizabethMikaelson



Category: Fifth Harmony (Band)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-14
Updated: 2018-04-14
Packaged: 2019-04-22 23:41:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,826
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14319633
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElizabethMikaelson/pseuds/ElizabethMikaelson
Summary: Both girls talk to the moon about each other. It's time they finally talk to each other and realise they are each other's moon.Lauren and Camila after all the drama finally realise their true feelings.





	I only told the moon

**Author's Note:**

> Honestly i don't even know how i wrote this or why. Just got the idea and boom this happened. But oh well hope anyone who reads it enjoys it.

 

It's probably around 1 AM when Lauren finds herself sitting on her apartment couch, eyes wide open and panting.

It had been a tiring day. She had been recording all day and she still remembers Halsey looking at her with a sad smile when Lauren teared up as she sang her part in 'Strangers'.

Time had passed since _she_ left her. Lauren closes her eyes and tries to forget her dream, a dream of soft brown eyes looking at her with a certain warmness Lauren has forgotten how it feels like.

The singer shakes her head and gets up, moving towards her fridge and opens it, eyes catching the wine bottle there, a present from Ty when he had seen the girl crying from something both knew well but didn't dare to address.

Lauren breathes deeply as she opens the bottle, shrugging and just drinking straight from it.

She was so over giving a care about anything that the possibility of getting drunk was the least of her worries. So she decides to go at her laptop and spend time seeing a movie or listening to some songs.

(If you asked her if she had any idea in mind, she would say no and she would be lying.

Since Lauren knows that she might deny it, but her fingers won't hesitate to search _her n_ ame on YouTube.)

The soft music starts before Lauren can stop it and her green eyes stare at the lyrics playing on the video, her eyes staring at the picture beside them.

_Hello, how are you? How you've been?_   
_Lately I wonder how it feels to steal your kiss_

Lauren feels her breath hitch as she hears the voice, all too familiar and beautiful as it has always been.

_Nothing much, just fine I'm doing well_   
_And you can read between the lines but God, I fell_

She remembers soft smiles across the room and soft kisses on her bunk after the three other girls had went to bed.

She remembers brown hair falling beside her face and brown eyes looking into her green eyes, so close from the small space. (Lauren never minded it, having her pressed close and on her arms.)

_I only told the moon, tonight up on the roof_   
_I told her that I'm scared that all my thoughts they look like you_

The lyrics hit too close to home and Lauren involuntary looks outside her window, the moon hidden behind some small clouds.

There are nights when she finds herself sitting outside, only looking at the moon and maybe even sharing her secrets with her.

_I only told the moon, about the way you move_   
_I asked her to please tell me if you tell things to her too_

Lauren remembers when she had told the girls about spending her time looking at the moon.

When they were five, a certain someone would smile and accompany her and not talk as Lauren only leaned her head on her shoulder and enjoyed the comfortable silence.

(When did that silence become yelling and then pain and suffocating?)

When they were four, they would share a look and only let Lauren go, the girl breaking down as soon as she would remember that there wouldn't be anyone to come and wrap her in a blanket or enjoy the moon with her.

(Lauren remembers the pain all too clearly. Hardly breathing as her sobs fill the silence left by her other half leaving.)

Her hands find her phone and her half drunked mind searches through her contacts, finger pausing on top of her name.

But Lauren is way past caring and she is sure the blunt she smoked two hours ago still is having an effect since she still feels like this thing she will do is not something her normal mind would let her do.

"Lauren?"

Said girl's breath hitches as she hears her say her name.

"Camila," Lauren breathes out, feeling like all her breath is being taking away but also given to her for the first time.

"Why are you calling so late?" replies the girl from the other side, and Lauren looks outside again, moving until she was leaning against her window wall, eyes on the moon.

"I was talking to the moon, and she wouldn't tell me if you talked to her too," says Lauren, her voice raspy and near tears, even if she was just talking.

Camila feels her heart stop for a moment, knowing all too well that Lauren was referencing to her song.

"Are you okay?"

Is she though? Lauren laughs sadly, eyes closing as she clutches the phone on her ear.

"We didn't mean the shade," starts Lauren, completely ignoring Camila's question.

"Our PR, who is a total dick, told us it was a perfect opportunity to," Lauren sighs at the memory, "to cause some drama."

"You could have said something against it," says Camila, and Lauren knows she doesn't mean bad, she knows she is making just an observation since she knows how bad it was and that's a reason why she had choosen to leave them.

"I could. But I- we were still angry, hurting. I was the most angry from all. I didn't mean to say those words, but I still choose to sign and say them."

Lauren still feels the taste of pain on her mouth when she remembers her last argument with Camila.

She remembers it all too clearly. The other girls beside her, calmer but still hurting, and Lauren yelling at the brunette before her.

Lauren is sure that with her eyes closed like this, she can still see Camila standing before her, crying and begging her to understand her and all this.

But she had just yelled and yelled and _I wish I never had met you_  still lingers on her mind and the look of utter betrayal on Camila's face is still fresh on her mind, even if it was years ago.

Normani, Ally and Dinah had done their best to hold her together, but no one could fill the space and hole Camila had left on her heart.

So she sang and sang and let herself take part on all the shady shit they had done.

"I don't think a girl falling behind you was signing," says Camils and Lauren chuckles lightly, the irony not lost on her.

"You are right, it wasn't. And I'm sorry." And that's where the tears start. At first it's just one drop and then another and Lauren is full crying.

"I'm so sorry I didn't try harder. I'm sorry I couldn't see the pain you had to feel," sobs Lauren, and she hears Camila speak, focusing on her voice instead on her heart breaking.

"Lolo it's okay. Don't cry please or I'll cry too."

"You called me Lolo," says Lauren, getting up slowly to lay down on the couch, still crying.

"Yes, yes I did. I still care about you, about the girls. And I know that you were hurting but so was I. But I'm sorry I couldn't manage to talk it more with you and prevent all of this from happening."

"I miss you Camz. I miss you so much," murmurs Lauren, eyes set on her laptop who now was on the small coffee table, Camila's and hers pic as her desktop screen.

"I miss you too Lauren. Please try to sleep now."

"I'm proud of you. I've been hearing some of your songs and they are amazing. _You a_ re amazing," says Lauren, once again ignoring her words.

"Do you think we could have worked out?" whispers the girl, eyes still on the picture as her minds thinks of soft lips and lingering hands and stares.

Camila breathes in and out, wiping the tears from her eyes and looking outside her own window, the moon shining brightly in the sky.

"I don't know, I honestly don't know. But... I don't think we would have. Everything was just too much for us."

Camila doesn't say it, (the girl has always been so nice and sometimes Lauren feels like if Camila had been more bitchy towards her her soul would be more at peace) but she knows what she means.

Lauren knows she means an angry PR telling them about their strick no relationship rule, the pressure from the press being too much and most importantly Lauren not knowing where she stood with her sexuality.

"Do you think we could now?"

Camila doesn't reply, and Lauren heart break a little at that.

"I think you should sleep now Lauren. We will talk another day."

"Goodnight Camila."

"Goodnight to you too Lauren. And since you asked me, I always talked to the moon about you."

Lauren sleeps better after she hears that.

\------

Camila calls Hayley, since she needs girl advice and she is too helpless and doesn't know what to do.

The girl laughs for a moment before getting serious, hearing Camila out until she stops talking and pauses for a moment to think.

"Go get the girl Cam, that's all I can say. I think that's it about time for you to stop talking to the moon about her, but actually talk to her."

Camila cries harder at that, but Hayley is quick to lift her spirits up with a small joke about how the green eyed beauty had stolen her heart and how she and Hayley could bond over their love for girls.

"Thank you Hayley," says Camila and the other girl only tells her it's okay before she closes the call.

\-----

Camila calls the girls on her way to Lauren's. She had been staying on the same city as her and now she is glad of that.

She tells them how sorry she is. She tells them she is sorry for ruining their friendship and that she wishes everyday she could befriend them again.

Ally is the first to forgive her and tell her that it's okay. Then it's Normani telling her that she supports her and is proud of what she has achieved and then it's Dinah, who tells her she will always be their friend no matter what happens.

In the end Camila finds herself before Lauren's door at 6 AM and with her friend's approval and encouragement for doing this.

\-----

When Lauren wakes up, the first thing she notices is that she has a pillow under her head and that her blue soft blanket is thrown over her.

Then she smells food and hears a small voice from the kitchen. She is sure her heart skips a couple of beats as she moves towards the kitchen.

Camila is cooking eggs, hands moving to place them to a plate which has a glass of orange juice beside it.

"Camila," breathes Lauren out, the brunette turning to look at her.

They freeze, both not ready to be so close to each other.

The last time they were like this, they were yelling and crying and trying so hard to hate each other and trying to get rid of all the love they had for each other in their hearts.

But their love was like the stars and just because you didn't see them sometimes didn't mean they had disappeared.

"Lauren," whispers Camila, turning her whole body towards her former bandmate? Friend? Best friend? Girlfriend?

The lines had blurred after too many glances which held more than just friendship in them.

"I made breakfast?" says Camila with a small smile, and Lauren nods dumbly, letting the brunette walk past her and towards the living room.

They sit close, facing each other, Camila drinking a hot chocolate and Lauren eating what Camila had cooked.

"I missed this, missed _you_ ," says Lauren after the silence becomes too much for her.

Camila smiles and nods her head, and Lauren feels that she understands the pain that's on her heart.

"I know. And I missed you too."

They have grown, both of them, Lauren notes. They aren't as young as they were and too focused on hurting each other by the pain they felt on their own hearts.

The burning passion now had faded to a calming fire, a comfortable feeling which feels like coming home after a long tiring day.

Camila continues looking at Lauren, who now is calmer, enjoying the small smile Camila sends her when they eyes meet.

"I heard you were getting ready for a new song," says Camila, and Lauren nods her head, placing the plate on the table, leaning her elbow on the couch so she is facing Camila again.

"Yeah I am. A new duet with Halsey," replies Lauren, not daring to tell her that it's actually more of her writing her feelings and Halsey helping her put them in a catchy song.

Camila nods her head, and her eyes meet Lauren's, holding the stare for a bit.

"I'm proud of you. All Night was really a beautiful song," says Camila, making Lauren smile and nod her head.

"Thanks. Your song was good too. Well all of them. I'm happy things are going good for you Camz."

Lauren lays her hand on Camila's shoulder, who tenses before she lets her shoulder drop again and relax under the girl's touch.

"You know," Camila looks at her curiously, "I understand you better now. Being solo really is better. I feel like I can express my emotions more this way."

Lauren is sure she has time without seeing that much happiness and relief on Camila's eyes.

"I know right? We both started music because we wanted to express ourselves. It feels amazing to be able to do that," says Camila and Lauren agrees wholeheartedly.

They both don't regret their time as a group, Lauren knows that. They had grown together and discovered things about themselves only being together could help them to.

But sometimes a bird had to learn to fly alone and that's what happened with them.

And maybe, as she looks at Camila with a small familiar smile, maybe it isn't so impossible for two birds to fly again close as ever.

\-----

Time passes without them knowing, and Lauren sees it's evening and that she has passed all her day watching Netflix with Camila and talking about their ideas and upcoming projects.

"You wanna go outside for a bit?" offers Camila and Lauren nods her head, taking Camila's hand instinctively and following her to her balcony.

(She smiles at the fact that Camila still knows everything on her house and how... Familiar and good she looks in it.

It makes Lauren feel warm, how everything seems to look better with Camila in it.)

Once again, the moon shines on the sky and Lauren grins when she hears a familiar song start from Camila's phone, which she places on the small table Lauren had placed on the balcony.

_So how are you? How you've been?_   
_Lately I wonder how it feels to taste your lips_

Camila places her hands on Lauren's shoulders, the older girl placing hers on her waist as both dance slowly.

_I only told the moon, tonight up on the roof_   
_I told her that I'm scared that all my thoughts they look like you_

Their dance is a lot like how they feel now, calm and relaxed and only Lauren and Camila and _La_ _uren and Camila_.

It's their own world, their own small heaven from all the storms they have passed.

_I only told the moon, about the way you move_   
_I asked her to please tell me if you tell things to her too_

"Ever since you left," Lauren breathes deeply and feels Camila's hands on her shoulders tense, "I only ever talked to the moon about you."

The brunette looks at her shocked, and Lauren is sure her green eyes are looking at Camila so lovingly that the brunette's eyes water.

"Talking to the moon has been my passion. I don't know when you became my passion, but I'm sorry I forgot until now that you always were my moon."

_That I give it all to you,_   
_I give it all to you, I give it all to you_

Camila is the first to lean in and kiss her, hands buried on Lauren's hair and bodies flushed together like puzzle pieces.

Their lips feel like home for each other, and Lauren smiles against her lips as she brings Camila closer, leaning their foreheads together as she breaks the kiss.

"I love you," murmurs Camila, finally letting herself admit those words to the green eyed beauty.

And Lauren smiles and she is sure her face will hurt in the morning by how huge her smile is.

"And I love you too Camz."

Both girls feel like right then, every yell, every tear and everything has been to lead them at this moment, this moment where everything falls into place.

And honestly, both girls could forgive the past as long as it bought them to this day.


End file.
